Repentance

Sha'bân is a month of preparation for Ramadan. No, I don't mean shopping and planning the menus for iftar. It is rather about taking account of one's own life. This is especially true for the fifteenth night, Laylatul-Barâ'ah, the Night of Liberation from sin the meaning if which is nowadays unfortunately often lost between folklore and the warning index fingers of puritans who doubt its value altogether. Traditional practice is to spend the night in prayer and to fast on the fifteenth day.

Liberation from sin means that this is a time for tawba. Tawba, often translated as repentance, actually means return. As we can see from terms like sharî'ah, the "way to the watering place", or the request to "guide us on the straight path" in Surat al-Fâtiha, and other Qur'anic images connected with travelling, religion can be considered as a way that takes us nearer to God.

As on any other journey, it may happen that we take a wrong turn by doing something wrong. Perhaps we try something new without appropriate information beforehand. Perhaps we did something with a good intention but misjudged the situation. Perhaps we followed some emotion or impulse like anger, greed, jealousy or extreme enthusiasm for something. There might be an insignificant lapse due to forgetfulness. It might be the result of bad habits, carelessness or laziness. In any case it causes an imbalance in the sensitive relationship with oneself, society, creation and last, but not least, God. A sin is any action that disrupts the balance of justice. It is an injustice against oneself and others that can cause damage.

Laylatul-Barâ'ah is an occasion to remember God's mercy and readiness to forgive. It is a good time to stop and turn and to get back on track.

For that purpose, our scholars have devised various methods of soul-searching. A very early one, al-Muhâsibi, got his nickname (the one who takes account) from his habit of checking his actions everyday. Al-Ghazzâli developed a sophisticated method of analyzing one's actions and the motivation behind them. Repentance is not about self-pity and exaggerated remorse but about insight and the intention to change one's way.

Generally sins are divided up into two main categories, those against God and those against fellow human beings. Sins against God are forgiven if you admit them to yourself, make the intention not to repeat them or to work on giving up the habit (e.g. of being careless or disrespectful), make up for them if possible (e.g. by making up for missed fasting days or by paying overdue zakât) and pray for forgiveness.

Sins against fellow human beings, however, need an additional effort. Since it was another person who suffered an injury as a result of our action, it makes sense that we make an effort to attain that person's forgiveness before we pray for being forgiven by God. In some cases this can be achieved by sincerely apologizing, i.e. for hurting someone's feelings or not being sensitive enough for his or her needs or failing to keep one's promise, or by making up for something taken away from someone else by illegitimate means or without his or her consent. Reconciliation with others is certainly a key element in working towards order and peace. It also includes that we are ready to forgive others who see that they harmed us and seek reconciliation. The Prophet kept pointing out that "God is merciful towards the one who is merciful towards others."

This might not always be as easy as it sounds. Genuine reconciliation takes two, the one who has violated the other's rights or dignity and who now feels sorry for it, and the other who is ready to accept sincere repentance and to reestablish a harmonious and peaceful relationship. It may be, though, that the latter is no longer alive or went away to an unknown place or is not ready to accept appropriate amends and to forgive. In any case it is necessary to make a serious effort by making a firm decision not to do the same to others, to work on the personal weakness that lies at the bottom of that wrong behaviour (e.g. greed, envy, hate etc.), to work for peace and reconciliation in general, and never to give up the hope for God's mercy. This is most beautifully expressed by Mawlana Rumi: "Even if you have broken your vow of repentance a thousand times, come back again."

Repentance and forgiveness is liberation from the burden of sin. There is, however, more to the term barâ'ah: it is not only linked with liberation but also with creation. God is al-Bâri, the Creator who, as it were, sets His created beings free for existence, for life. Repentance is therefore the key for a new life both now and in the future.

God, I ask for Your forgiveness for every sin that diverted me from the way to which You have guided me; or from doing what You have instructed me and avoiding what You had forbidden me; or from doing anything to which You had directed me that would have contained prosperity for me and a way to attain Your pleasure, Your love, and Your nearness.
God, I ask for Your forgiveness for every sin that I reproached or condemned one of Your created beings for committing but then myself plunged into and insolently committed before You.
God, I ask for Your forgiveness for every sin that caught up with me and kept me in its grip when I took a covenant with You, or made a promise to You, or took an oath with You in regards to a responsibility to one of Your created beings, and then I broke it without any justification; it was in fact my arrogance that made me step down from fulfilling it and my insolence that made me reject observing it.
God, I ask for Your forgiveness for every sin that I praised with my tongue, or that I intended in my heart, or that my self took pleasure in, or that my tongue endorsed, or that I effected with my actions, or that I wrote with my hand, or that I committed in any way or caused one of Your servants to commit.
God, I ask for Your forgiveness for every sin that I took to be trivial but You took to be weighty, that I deemed to be small but You deemed to be an enormity, and in which my own foolishness entangled me.
God, I ask for Your forgiveness for every sin by which I misguided one of Your created beings, or through which I mistreated one of them, or which my lower self made seemingly attractive to me, or which I pointed out to another person, or to which I directed someone besides myself, or in which I intentionally persisted, or to which I remained stubbornly attached out of my foolishness.
God, I ask for Your forgiveness for every sin that You recorded against me because of my self-conceit, or ostentation, or desire to be heard, or malice, or rancour, or treachery, or pride, or exultancy, or intemperate mirth, or obstinacy, or envy, or insolence, or ungratefulness or fervour for other than Your sake, or bigotry, or acquiescence to sin, or blind hope, or extreme avarice, or generous spending for sin, or oppression, or unwarranted cunning, or theft, or lying, or backbiting, or idle amusement, or fruitless talk, or calumny, or useless play, or any such activity that by doing it sins are reaped and in pursuing it there is destruction and grief.
God, I ask for Your forgiveness for every sin towards which I walked with my legs, or towards which I extended my hands, or which I closely observed with my eyes, or which I carefully listened to with my ears, or which I uttered with my tongue, or in which I squandered of the sustenance You had provided me. Then, despite my disobedience, I asked You for more sustenance, and You provided it to me. Then again I used Your sustenance in disobeying You, but You kept Your covering over me. Yet again I asked You for more, and You still did not deprive me. Then after Your increase, I openly transgressed against You, but You did not humiliate me. I have thus constantly persisted in disobeying You, and You have constantly remained clement and benevolent with me - Most Merciful of the Merciful!
God, I ask for Your forgiveness for every sin that kills the heart, and incites anxiety, and preoccupies the mind, and pleases Evil, and angers the Most Merciful.

The supplications were transmitted from the scholar and mystic al-Hasan al-Basri.

(c) Halima Krausen, 2006